


Jean's Journal Entries

by SpicyRosePetals



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, I don't know, it kind of is?, it's not really jeanmarco but
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 08:45:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1504145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyRosePetals/pseuds/SpicyRosePetals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay basically this is just me being a doof and trying my hand at writing Jean. I'm terribly sorry if I get his character completely wrong but hey, I tried.</p>
<p>Baasically it's exactly what the tital says. This is just a collection of me, writing as Jean, writing in a little notebook Armin found for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Journal entry 1

It’s stupid, talking about my feelings and shit, but Mikasa suggested it so… Well I’m a dude and she’s hot. Put the two together and I’ll do whatever the hell she wants me to do.  
Anyways, she got Armin to find this fucking pathetic notebook-like-thing for me and now we’re here. Or I’m here. Who the hell am I supposed to be talking to anyway?  
I don’t get this.  
Okay, um, well, I suppose if I’m talking about feelings I might as well put down here that my life sucks. I hate it, a lot actually.  
Hey I never said this was going to be a rainbow and sunshine party.  
Whatever.  
It just seems that, since Marco died, I haven’t exactly had a good day. I got some great idea to skip out on the Military police and join the Survey Corps.  
Good job Jean.  
Life would have been great had I joined the Military police. I could be drinking myself numb instead of freezing my ass off while writing in this damn paper collection.  
So many blank pages.  
What am I even supposed to WRITE!?  
Fuck.  
Yeah, that’s right. A whole line just for the F bomb.  
I make the rules in this town.  
So anyways, if Marco hadn’t gone and gotten himself KILLED we could be living it up in the Military Police. But of course not, life isn’t that kind. He had to go and throw his life away… and for me too.  
The fool should have just let me bite it. It should have been me that titan bit in half.  
You know, when I found him, his blood wasn’t even red? It had been so long since his death that his blood had dried black on the pavement… and everywhere else.  
His whole arm just… gone.  
That stupid fuck.  
I  
Woah… ignore that smudged writing it’s ah… starting to rain.

I miss him.  
I mean kind of.  
His optisimusm could get really annoying, but it wasn’t nearly annoying enough that I’d want him dead.  
Is it bad that I kind of wish it had been Marco rather than Eren who had the freak titan shifting ability?  
Yeah, probably. It’s just, GOD Eren is annoying and Marco’s just… not.  
Fuck.  
It should have been me.  
It’s not like I’m doing any good being alive, and Marco, if he had lived, he would be doing so much good for this world that I will never be able to accomplish. But no, he’s gone. Nothing left but ash and memory.  
Alright I’ve got to go. The midget is getting pissy.

-Jean


	2. Journal Entry 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another entry

So I’m writing again, even though this whole journaling thing is rather stupid and pathetic. I mean, I should be able to handle my own thoughts without having to write them down, but it seems to…. Help.  
Weird.  
Anyways, I just wanted to write down that I did something today that I think Marco would be really proud of. I sure as hell am.  
I solved a problem in the current battle strategy. We’ll save more soldier’s lives with my idea!  
Ha! I know, as magnificent as I, the great Jean Kirchstein, am it’s really no surprise but… it feels good to make a decision and have the outcome not end in, well, you know, death.  
Death is kind of a bummer.  
Kind of.  
…Okay maybe a lot  
Yes a lot  
Damn it, death is a pretty big bummer  
Death fucking sucks  
But Marco wouldn’t want me to dwell on that… I think freckles would want me to focus on the good outcomes, life and the beauty in it and all that.  
The sun does seem to come up every day so at least that’s a constant.  
Yeah, optimistic Jean here. At least I’m trying to  
… So anyways, we’re traveling back to Trost soon to put the strategy in gear so I think I’ll visit Marco’s grave, take him some flowers.  
That sap always liked them, especially Lillis. I think, if I remember correctly, he said that they reminded him of home. Whenever we were out training, if Marco spotted some Lillis, he would either go pick some immediately, or come back for a few later.   
Hopefully no one ever reads this because I’m putting down right here right now that it was actually kind of… cute.  
The damn Lillis had freckles that matched his, how is that not at least a little cute. Don’t fucking judge me.  
Well, I’m… glad I had him in my life, even for such a brief period.  
I’ll take him some Lillis when we get there.  
Shit, got to go. Eren just came into the cabin. I got to hide this thing.

-Jean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. I used the over used freckles thing. Please forgive me.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my goodness I hope it was alright


End file.
